Surprise me..

Picture is Walsh_Kelley's. Usual rules apply to this one.

I miss being a little child sometimes.

Christmas was always more fun when you didn't really ask for what you wanted, when Santa was coming down the chimney, and when (or so it seems for me), your imagination was seemingly unlimited.

And I think that it's these things which we are in danger of losing as people. We bemoan kids growing up quickly, but do we really do anything about it? Not really. Quite happy for 18 rated movies to be slightly edited and stuck on at 8pm.

And it makes me sad. Life's no fun if everything is grim reality.

But surprises aren't always fun for some people. Like the recent Innocent and McDonalds posting, which riled an awful lot of people - and let's be fair, some of the comments were bloody stupid.

But the surprise that Innocent is (shock!) an actual business, that exists to make profits has surprised people somehow - and partnering with the 'great Satan' has bemused quite a few people.

To me, the trial makes sense - why not see if kids will get their fruit via McDonalds? It'd improve their diets and so forth. At least McDonalds has shown some desire to change, and I think Innocent have realised this - and good for them.

If it stops people trying to make their own (though my flat mate's weren't bad in fairness), it's probably a good thing:



Anyway, like I say, not all surprises are a good thing - you lose some of your child like behaviour, and grow up a little. But I don't think Innocent have lost their voice, betrayed their principles or any other such nonsense. I think they genuinely want to help improve the world in their own way, and I see trialing their smoothies at McDonalds as a natural step. But, it would seem, not everyone does.

Hopefully they haven't lost enough of their sense of humour to find this funny (click on the pic to see it full size):



And before this post gets too long and too rambly (too late), I've got to say that it would do more brands good to do what Innocent have just done. Dip your toe in new areas, surprise us all. God knows that branded entertainment, digital, ATL and all the channels allow you more opportunity to do this than ever before. So use them.

Here endeth my soapbox posting.

Have a good weekend all - I'm going back to sunny Worcestershire, and may walk along this beaut:

Thanks to HoughtonAbout (usual policy applies)

Claude Hopkins (or 'To not know your history is to remain a child forever')

Horribly misquoted from the great man's seminal text, but it makes the point.

Advertising seems to be the only industry where history is ignored - for example, way before Second Life, HHCL were pioneering online technology. Yet there is a massive fuss made that time round.

Garland Compton, CDP, BMP.. these are agencies which have irrevocably shaped how we see advertising today. And we try and deny it, constantly moving on and ignoring some of the lessons of the past.

I think it's fair to see that as advertising is, to a certain extent, like an extended magic trick (got to amaze and show 'em something they've not seen before), it predicates this problem of forgetting what you were.

Indeed, as certain clients seem to have a circular model of not really passing knowledge down (I wonder how many of my readers have heard 'ah, Aroma! That's what the modern x is after these days' from a few generations of the same client), it doesn't help either.

Well, sod it. I think if we knew our history, we could be proud of our heritage, and what advertising has done for modern culture.

So in this spirit (and you may already have this), I give you Claude Hopkins' seminal text 'Scientific Advertising'. Yes, it predates David Ogilvy; real 'old skool' advertising thinking.

It's in the sidebar, but if you can't be arsed to click on it, go here. Yes, you have to sign up. But you should.

Here endeth my history lesson (and God - read E H Carr's book.. well worth it)

Good Customer Service? Yes.

I've recently got wireless. Despite the occasional hiccup, it's proving to be great - got to love being on t'internet at home.

Anyway, I got wireless with BT.

Good price and all that, and the deal was sweetened when I found out my bank had a deal going on with them (£50 off with my bank account - woo hoo).

Anyway, that was the good bit. The bad bit came when the phone line wouldn't find broadband. After much head scratchery, I called them. No problems on the waiting front; I was very quickly speaking to a nice lady called Cheryl.

She couldn't solve the problem, but could I speak to another colleague?

'Course. I wanted me t'internet.

That colleague (who's name escapes me) confirmed the line was buggered, and an engineer would be out the following day.

He was, ringing me twice and sorting out the problem.

Great stuff.

I followed the cd's instructions, and after a bit of a kerfuffle with the USB wireless stick I had to buy, I was sorted - and £50 to the good, as the voucher is now being processed.

Tip top BT - and for what it's worth, I think the new B2B strategy is a winner.

Stoke City's Plight.. and Visual DNA..

Look at this.

Yes, the mighty Potters (that's Stoke, just in case you weren't sure) have just beaten Colchester 3-1, and are on the verge of getting into the playoffs. Tied with Southampton, with identical goal difference, we have one game to make a difference.

It's away at QPR, and rather annoyingly, I can't go. So it'll be another Saturday of watching the vidiprinter/listening to Five Live.

So, humble reader, keep an eye out for the football scores - I certainly will be.

Also, check this out, recommended by Scamp:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Pretty accurate, if you click on it.

Obligatory Music Post..(with some Batman)

Right then.

No planningy thoughts in this post. It's unabashedly about music.

This may, of course, influence my chances of getting a job at one of London's achingly cool boutique agencies. But fuck that - onward with the reviews.

Up first is the Arctic Monkeys' new album 'Favourite Worst Nightmare'. Yes, the album everyone has been wanking on about since the last one and the EP in the middle.

Honestly - it is better than the first album, in a purely album sense; by that, I mean that it works better together than the first one, but probably has less obvious singles on it. 'Brianstorm', 'Old Yellow Bricks' 'Fluorescent Adolescent' and '505' should be/are singles, but the whole first album could pretty much have been singles.

It's also a lot more of a grower than the first album, with less wordplay and better music - especially the drumming. Listen to the first single, and see what you think:



Anyway, the album gets 7.5/10 from me.

Onto the next one:


Yes, it's The Jam's 'Setting Sons'.

Now, I wasn't much of a Jam fan. I knew the singles, sure - thought they were ok. But no albums before this one.

Now, I happened upon a live recording of 'Eton Rifles', one of the singles from Setting Sons. Watch it below (the camera work is a bit shoddy):



Fucking brilliant, eh? Now, imagine an album which is half a concept album (focusing on 3 friends who lose touch, with Eton Rifles being one of the songs) and sprinkle in a few more tunes - because Weller couldn't write quickly - and you have Setting Sons.

Lots of different styles. And each one is damn brilliant. This album may well get into my top 10 in time (check it out on the Slideshare presentation).

So yes, 9/10 from me.

Last one:


Quantic Soul Orchestra's album 'Pushin' On'. An unexpected purchase this one, but I always like to try and get something like it on the go - sometimes random album purchases can be the best (or worst) things you buy, especially when it's on the strength of one song.

Which can be found below:



It's great, eh? The rest of the album is bloody good as well. Especially the cover of 'Feelin' Good'. Such a funky album - and it managed to fuck up London's best independent record store in Soho.. who didn't have a copy in stock..

Anyway - 8/10 for that one. May rise in time.

Oh, and I've also bought the Grinderman album (entitled 'Grinderman') and the new Idlewild album ('Make Another World'). Both get a solid 8/10 score. And the Idlewild gig I went to would be a 9/10.. the first and last time I'm going to Hammersmith Palais.. sob..

Finally, something funny for reading this far:



Check the blog out. Makes me smile.

Gotta love slideshare ...

Slideshare really is excellent. Just registered with it, and I urge you to do so as well.

Great for putting random gubbins up on t'internet.

So I have. Here's a newly updated presentation 'Confessions of a Wannabe Ad Man' (which you also download from the sidebar):



And have a few brand positionings, while you are at it. I must say that these are VERY rough thoughts (some of them written on the tube/off the top of my head) but aye - just something to stimulate some conversation. I've probably got another 20 odd to talk about/publish, but here are a few - as for my thoughts on them, I still like the Kodak one, think the KFC one requires the brand to change perhaps a bit too much (but it could work), like the Mars one (though it is a bit generic) and I still like the Beano one. So here you are (again, you can nab it from the sidebar):



Let me know what you think about them both....

Job Hunting (or how that tall chap became a planner)

Hello.

I'm usually a contentious, mildly sarcastic chap who posts on this blog (yes, I really am that tall, attractive man; told you I could be sarcastic).

However, I'll be frank - I am also looking for a job, given the demise of my former workplace.

The reason I'm posting this, is that I know that quite a few agencies read this (BBH, VCCP, Y&R, AMV, Leo Burnett - all just today), and I'd like to meet with you, humble readers.

The closure of my agency is a shame, considering I was only able to accrue a whopping two whole months of experience, and additionally, irritating, because it makes me not even a planning junior; more a planning padwan.

Still, check out my academic credentials - download my CV from the sidebar. There's even a short presentation about myself and some of my earlier advertising experience, just to give you an idea of what drives me and how I think (though the ad stuff is from much earlier on in my career).

I still think I'd make a good planner - during my short agency life, I've helped win a pitch, worked over most of the major accounts at my agency and generally enjoyed it a great deal.

Bluntly, I want to move to a place which will train me/make me a better, more rounded planner. And have a damn good time doing it. And yes, I'll even make the tea for a few months.

I'll even bring along my planning portfolio, and a few brand positionings for you to have a look at.

Does that sound like fun - do you fancy a coffee and a chat?

If so, get in touch, either via email or by giving me a ring on 07773 945284.

Or, you can meet me in person at Faris's Beersphere tonight. I'll be there from 7.30.

Authenticity is as authenticity does..

I should probably prefix this by saying that I find the notion that Dolmio is actually made in Holland absolutely, positively the funniest thing about these ads (no, I don't get out much - much less see the sun at all).

But no.

What's tickled me is not that (this time). No, I was making my usual meal of stir in sauce (still haven't moved out of my gastronomic studenty ways, despite making mashed potato for the FIRST TIME EVER this week) and noticed what it said on the side of the packet.

*Watches as his readership groan 'oh no, not ANOTHER Seth Godin esque post'*

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Anyway, read this (didn't have a camera on me):

"For a more full on Italian experience, just stir one pot of sauce into 300g of hot freshly cooked pasta to make an intensely satisfying meal. Perfect for two people looking for a bit more excitement"

Just to make it easier, I've highlighted the bits which are particularly amusing.

By all means, use Italian attributes, and milk the brand essence. If it is founded on a little thing called truth - selling the Italianicity of the brand doesn't wash when the bloody thing is manufactured in Holland.

It's almost as bad as HP not being made in Aston. But that's another story, and another rant, for another day.


But aye; you've already had a problem when the brand idea is founded on a lie. Why not celebrate that it's made in Holland? It could have mixed heritage or have aspects of both - then you could use clogs AND italian puppets in an ad - advertising genius (tongue slightly in cheek).

And since when has pasta been an aphrodisiac? Yes, it's a communal event, but I've never seen someone given one after a great tagliatelle... bit of a stretch for the thought, methinks.

The microsite, however, is fucking brilliant. Nicely executed, and I like the 'ask mama' section. Even when I want to know the answer is 42. And, despite my ranting, my Dolmio day, for what it's worth, is most days - so the advertising isn't that offensive.

Just founded on a bit of an untruth.

These guys should win a placement at Mother..

For more information about this go here. Final three are here.

For what it's worth, I really liked the Pro Evo one (it rang true - especially at University)

Product Recalls and Bans.. (Yes, it's a bit work related)

So yes; I've probably been posting about tat for a while (or random metaphors/analogies), so have a question I've been asked. It's a little bit short (because I have been working on it whilst doing the day job), but fuck it. Here you go.

"Over the past few years, companies have been forced to issue many more product recalls. This trend is driven partly by changes in legislation and the manufacturing process, partly by changes in consumer behaviour. What should we do to address this?"

As the question notes, product recalls are driven by a variety of factors; from changes in customer preconception, to societal pressures, to basic defects.

If I were to assess the notion of recalls, I would first have to frame the problem. A DTI study in 2000 (found here), found that (as, I imagine, most would suspect) the biggest problem is due to actual product defects – things being physically wrong with the product. Electrical fault accounted for 46% of the recalls.

And, as the study goes on to outline, the recalls occur more frequently with price perceptions (items under £10 have under a 10% recall rate). Get past £10, and defect recalls occur far more frequently.

These two pieces of information create the principal insight. If your product is liable to cost over £10, then clearly the manufacturing process and testing is of paramount importance. Additionally, if your product utilises electricity or could be choked on by little people, care must be taken to pre-test ahead of all else.

However, if I was to try and address the problem over every market and attempt to apply a ‘one size fits all’ solution to the problem, I would research a number of case studies, ranging across a variety of industries. From FMCG problems, white good manufacturers, the auto industry, the pharmeuticals and more besides.

These case studies would provide part of a factual base in order to learn how to address the problem, as well as helping to pre-empt any problems contained within certain types of organisations.

Given the need for those who produce programmes for the computer to beta test, surely it should apply to other industries? One virus or glitch can fuck you in the eyes of the consumer. And you don't want to do that to a consumer that has more power to broadcast just how much you fucked with them. No more slow moving, silent monoliths.

Of course, to be entirely honest, there is a certain sense of chaos surrounding the legislative procedure, as well as no way of knowing which way public opinion will swing about a certain product or service (take Bernard Matthews ‘Turkey Twizzlers’ as a prime example of this).

But certainly, I believe doing this research and avidly pre-testing, testing, testing after launch and not rushing products through R&D is crucial if one is not to end up with mass recalls and a huge dent in company reputation.

If I was a consultancy, that's what I'd suggest. Do your homework, test thoroughly and above all else, hire a a good PR department that is quick on the draw; because no-one can legislate for changing demands and thinking.

Additionally (and Shel Israel would agree), get a company blog; you can instantly get involved with a direct dialogue with your consumer and head recalls off at the pass. If you are a big multinational, a PR company is a must though; you run the risk of your corporate blog getting swamped (especially if it is a mass recall).

That's what I'd do. How about you, faithful readers?

In honour of 100 posts, I give you a term..

The 'Johnny Cash'.

Used after a night out, or a particularly heavy curry.

It relates to one of his songs.. because both have the ability to give you a ring of fire.

To take away the pain of that thought, have some music.

Praise be! Blogmusik is back!

Praise Be! Blogmusik returns!

Yes, it's fucked up my links for the songs of the week (click those bad boys for a laugh), but ne'er mind. It returns!

Huzzah!

And yes, I will sing the Ship Song at some point.... by the way, here's the original - couldn't find the video, so have some crazy Pirates of the Caribbean on the go:



And yes, my singing voice (or lack of it) is like Cave's. Flat and deep. Hoo boy..

More musical nonsense and cucumber sandwiches

Yada yada - thanks Dextr

It's all about more podcasts. Boo yah.

Check out the sidebar - you can now play them straight from the main page, which is nice.

Cocktail Parties..

Usual policy applies - thanks Mr Giles

Before I get properly in the post, I've got to put a disclaimer on this one:

*WARNING - OVERSTRETCHED ANALOGY ALERT*

Right, that's over with. Cocktail parties then. Not much to do with advertising, you might think.

And, you'd probably be right. But humour me, just this once...

You know at cocktail parties, when there are always people who have hordes of people around them. Slightly unreal, too perfect. Defined principally by their amazing ability to bore the piss out of all and sundry.

This is what most brands are online.

You don't try and have a conversation with this sort of person, simply because you feel you'll get shouted down by their generalised, seemingly automatous conversational skills and beliefs. You know the kind - those who have such wide ranging and rambling beliefs that talking to them and defining what they mean is like nailing sick to a wall. Not pleasant, oddly revolting and impossible.

Now, what about those people who sit in the corner, clutching their drinks and looking a bit disinterested? Yeah...those people. Those, who if provoked, will bore you senseless unless you are interested in their (slightly boring) conversation topics.

This is what some brands are online.

A wee bit limited. Conversations don't get very far from a basic point. Any attempts to integrate them into the wider party usually fall flat. Don't usually get on very well with the opposite sex. If you want to listen and are interested then great; they can be very interesting. The sort of person who, if interested in audio, knows more about the expensive wires than the speakers - because, as EVERYONE should know, you should spend twice as much on the wires.

How about the last group? It's a bit smaller than our first group. But damn, people are there because they want to be. One person in particular - who has his own style, way of talking and method of storytelling, is interesting people. He's not preaching, but letting it go with the flow and interjecting when it's appropriate.

This is what most brands should strive to be online.

It must be stressed that not every person can do this. Some are like our first boorish sort. These people should stay away from parties, or indeed, any form of social media. Listen a bit more, for God's sake. Define what you mean.

The second; well, yes, some people are like this as well. They, at least, know what they mean. It's a bit of a one way conversation though. Not satisfying, but at least you know what they stand for, and no, they'd never betray you or do anything of the sort. But they might turn out to be a bit of a broken record. Which no-one (except those who are really interested) really likes.

The latter; well, don't we all wish. We soon find out whether we can do that though. First, and most importantly, we have to listen. And I'm not sure if everyone can.

Garlic Bread?! That's the future, that is..

This link clearly is the future of presentations. No more crappy Powerpoint slides.

Just expressive thinking.

Thanks to NDG & Alby for the link in the first instance.

Means you can't ever hire anyone with a nervous twitch though..

Arrogance is a gift?

Consider the following quote:

"If you are on thin ice, you may as well dance".

Not something I'd recommend, but hey. The point of the picture of Mr Mourinho and that quote is that they both denote a certain swagger, a divisiveness which can lead to people either loving or loathing you.

It's something I've noticed before - Hell, for a planner, I'm pretty bloody talkative, which is unusual in itself.

Worries about arrogance extended to when I was doing my (English) degree, where the vast majority of participants tended to be female.. and women who (for the most part) were a) brighter than me and b) quieter than me.

So no, I don't think I'm arrogant. I just talk a lot. And a lot. And a lot. Sometimes repetition creeps in as a result. As a result. Writing usually helps me cut this off at the knees.

And, of course, the argument goes, given my current position, I should shut the fuck up and get on with being humble and apprenticing myself to some of the best minds in the business.

I intend to do the middle one and the latter - I'm humble to those who are planners naturally in this industry, because they know more than I do about life, the universe and everything. But I'll still speak up if I have to, even in interviews.

It'd be pretty piss poor if they hired me and I was a sanitised version of myself. No chance. I'm not quite Rob's angry belief, but I can be opinionated, certainly.

And speaking up (when it's considered and the right time) should be a blessing - if it stops shit ads and comms, definitely. I can't be any other way.

Don't it always seem to go...

"They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique
And a swinging hot spot
Dont it always seem to go
That you dont know what you've got
'Till its gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot"

Belated IPA Talk Thoughts..

The IPA talk was fascinating; always good to hear two heavyweights duke it out.

But, as Chris Forrest rightly pointed out, there wasn't enough blood on the walls; just a little bit of blog bad mouthing (sitting next to Richard was an experience - it is his write up on the site).

To me, the whole thing played out as a bit of a caricature of what we were supposed to think; John L had a very clear start and finish - Blogs are bad - encourage lazy thinking - could corrupt juniors - examples - examples from his own career - conclusion. Whereas Mr Grant (and I don't think he'd disagree) winged it a little more, using a few specific case studies (which escape me at the moment, but I know one of them was to do with America and how ridiculous American friends of his found the whole debate).

John L 'won' the debate in that he was able to convert more people to his side. For what it's worth, I think he made some valid points about those senior people with blogs; as they will be looked to as a source of inspiration/advice inherently, they must be careful about what they post. Valid point....buuuut..

I really don't think people on the outside looking in are quite so naive. Yes, obviously they will be doe eyed and a little bit clueless about what the job actually is - but surely not so dense as to think that is ALL the job. If you don't notice the bit on the job description which says 'analysing markets', frankly, you shouldn't be a planner.

John G made a very important point about trade magazines; arguably, if you only had those to rely on (which you did in the past), surely it makes you just as idealistic as some of the ad blogs out there; the world would be filled with long lunches, champagne and lovely clients, as well as a hefty expense budget and very little actual work. Not so.. more like a week spent finding out the numbers about boilers and the 'Home Emergency Market'. Sexiness, you soon find, has very little impact on the balance sheet - unless of course you have founded your entire career on being eye candy (which, sadly, I could never do).

As for my point of view; well, the letter to Campaign and the very fact I have a blog should give you some idea of where my sympathies lie.

Though I'm writing this in my lunch break, the accessing of information and ideas can only be a good thing; John L didn't dispute this (how could he?), but still - blogs, and ad blogs are a force for good... when done at the appropriate time. They can help spark ideas, lateral thought and provoke debate.

Which is surely all anyone wants from Advertising.

IPA Blogging/Planning Talk - Who's going?

So who is going to this tonight?

I will be there.

Campaign Fame and an Announcement...

Campaign have taken it upon themselves to publish my article. Which is nice.

Taking umbridge with Mr Bullmore, it's just about how blogging helped me out. So, I guess, now is as good a time as any to reveal my (badly kept) secret.

I work here as a Junior Planner. Have been for almost a month now.

It's been good fun.

Most importantly though, I guess I'll have to start a new blog now (but not quite yet, as I am poor/lazy to switch to typepad).

I will still keep this site running and so on - it will act as a forum for any juniors looking to break into the industry.

Coooooool..

Skiing down Angel tube station. Ooh yeah. Read more here.

I would like a shiny Mac. But they are SO expensive.

I would quite like a Mac, principally because of Keynote.

Look at those sexy charts. Pure Planning Pornography. And you can do all kinds of strange and wonderful things with that app.

And, perhaps even better than that, I can now run Windows (still the O/S of the Gods), take advantage of the many free WiFi spots and generally dance the dance of life.

But the cost. Oh, the cost.

No variation either. I guess that's how Apple started a Mac religion - charge a price premium and people will always claim they've done well and bought the right thing.

And, don't worry - the PC at home will run games. I haven't gone fucking insane - and the Mac will have to have a two or three button mouse. Not one of these crappy one button jobs.

The term 'Creative Generalist' is shite...

The term 'Creative Generalist' means "curious divergent thinkers who appreciate new ideas from a wide mix of sources" as coined by Steve Hardy...whose blog can be found here.

It's a great blog, no doubt about it. But I want to take issue with the notion that it defines planners.

I'm a subscriber to Stanley Pollitt's approach to planning. Not Steven King's. Whilst great planning must be rigorous, derived from a wide variety of sources; a science it is not. True research is far closer to that.

As a planner padwan (I'm claiming that one as my own), I prefer the term 'Creative Planner'. I come up with ideas founded in an essential truth, try to back them up and if it doesn't work, break the wall down and start again. Or try and catch another ferret/idea..

Bet you wondered about the image.

Account planners DO have to focus on one thing. Being too much of a Creative Generalist means that you're no good at condensing things down.

Whereas being a Creative Planner means you keep all the rigorous thinking, but focus it around ideas. Too much creativity and you lose focus (and this, I feel, is how the argument about blogging vs planning came about - oooh, rampant random thoughts from planners! This CAN'T be happening!), but always having it around you is just right.

Don't get me wrong, planners have to be interesting and interested in a wide variety of things; and yes, the best planners are like this. But sometimes you have to be able to turn it off.

Anyway. Anyone have any thoughts?

Twitter is a bastard (but I've FINALLY got it to work)

Phew.

After many exhaustive emails/me being a combination of a technological 'tard and a neo-luddite, I've got twitter to work.

Tune in to find out the many minutiae of my everyday life. What I've had for breakfast and so forth (if you like that sort of thing..).

Ben Folds is brilliant.

And one more for you.. (not quite as sensitive)

I'm not as angry as some. But I'm possibly more random..

Have some randomness! Randomness for all!

Wii Baby

Because of my mate Dave

What I don't want to become

Sometimes this is true

Genius.

My business plan is down the toilet

Found it behind the sofa

Going off track..

Marcus's recent post struck a chord with me about blog voice and things you discuss.

And I quote:

"I’m rather bored of the advertising-blog waffle and, to tell you the truth, some of you use language I simply don’t understand, which, in fact, is rather scary when you think about it. I’m disappointed with the fact the young ones are not as angry as I was when I was 25. I find most of what you write dull. Not all of you, for there are exceptions but most of you. It’s easy to copy the style of Russell, John or Richard but you will never be Russell, John or Richard so why bother? Why not be you?"

Now, I'm not sure exactly who this is addressed at, but I do know that I have been guilty of this in the past. Partly it stems from the attempt to find your voice.

No, I'm not Russell, Richard, Mark Earls or John Grant. I couldn't ever be.

But when you are a junior/apprentice, trying to learn a trade, it becomes important to just shut the fuck up at times, and sit back, and reformat your thinking through those who have been there, seen it, done it, and have the 'I'm a planner, a'right?' T-Shirt.

I hope my blogging voice goes some way to explaining how I'd be in real life - an overly talkative chap who probably likes Championship football a little bit too much and loves watching and trying to read people. Yes, it's been (probably) overly influenced by other people at times.

But I dearly hope my blog has enough of me in it. If not, humble reader, I'll change.

God knows my last 2 weeks worth of hits have been bad enough.

Did you all not like the Unicorn?

How owning a notebook makes you a better person..

I don't keep a diary.

I've never been that interested in recording thoughts that I thought everyone would have considered and mulled over. To me, it just seemed like a bit of pointless exercise.

Not anymore... yes, I've succumbed to the wave of planners who tote them around; I now have a moleskine. And it's really bloody useful.

Inspired by Richard's 4 point dissection of brand ideas, I've recently been doing a few myself in this notebook. As well as getting down some thoughts/quotes I quite like.

No self masturbatory diary esque thoughts yet, but I have been mulling over (as an offshoot of my infantile brand idea thinking) further thoughts on just how I'd improve brands and their position in the market.

Place me firmly in the fan of the notebook camp.

Also, much as I'd have liked to get a notebook which wasn't a moleskine, I pretty much had no choice - there really aren't any other viable alternatives that I could find (and who could resist the blurb about who has used their notebooks before?).

Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet..

(Thanks to DJ Damien, usual policy applies)

Happiness truly is a cigar called Hamlet.

At least, it was for me (not that I smoke...well, the odd cigar).

Ads like the one below were the reason I wanted to get into advertising in the first place. Such a clever positioning - 'Whatever the problem, smoking a Hamlet will make you feel better' allied with such a range of amazing executions (thank you CDP).

This for me, is advertising at its best because it is both subtle and obvious (yes, I know they are diametrically opposed, but eh - it's probably why the true greats are so hard to do/replicate).

Don't believe me/think I'm talking bollocks? Click the link for the bunker spot, or look below for Photobooth, two of my favourites..

Holycow is a genius..

Check out this link.

Best piece of thinking I've read in a long time.

So are you a prog or punk fan? I like a bit of both in my comms, though punk advertising should be on the way back.

I'm going to think about some comms which is punk (Tango, Pot Noodle) and some which isn't (current Orange, MoreThan, T Mobile, MOST mobile phone ads, HSBloodyC) and write something of worth at some point during this week.. but for now, enjoy Mark's thinking.

WWUD?

There are times in this world where we really can't make a sensible decision about things.

Confounded by dense clouds of information, we have nowhere to turn.

Until now.

Ask not what you can do for a Unicorn, but what a Unicorn can do for you.

Positive Associations (or how Sacrum had it right all along)

You know Scorsese won an Oscar, don't you?

The Departed was a bloody good film, as well. However, I mention this now because, as a result of the film, I've begun to listen to the Dropkick Murphys a lot more (listen to their Live on St Patrick's Day album; it is fantastic).

And it's because of a very significant scene in the film (If you've not seen it, I won't spoil it for you) that features a DKM song that I heard of them.

The same was true of Jose Gonzalez and Heartbeats, the song on the Sony 'Balls' spot.

Now, wouldn't it be nice if brand associations were like this - you see/hear/experience something you like, so you are willing to part with a bit more money or buy that brand ahead of another in a very generic marketplace..

Now, I'm fairly sure the latter, if one is willing to participate in the branded entertainment (and by that I mean games/entertainments the brand has actively put on - not sponsored or Godawful 'branded entertainment' with brand names being namedropped as quickly and easily as a drizzly shower in the Midlands) is effective at getting people most of the way to wanting to purchase the brand's product.

The other two aren't. I cannot remember many radio ads at the best of times (barring one amusing estate agent about about the customers 'coming' first - to give you an idea, it features the odd spot of bedroom gymnastics, lovingly recorded on the ad), and brand specifics are hard to remember in the vast majority of TV spots I watch (and I take an active interest in this stuff - God knows what it must be like for the average punter).

Give someone something to experience, or target your ads properly; ads aren't like songs - you don't instantly seek them out, unless it's: a) incredibly well targeted or b) offering you something to try/a obvious point of difference.

Then you too can be experiencing brand warmness (cheers Sacrum):

Acronym Addiction..

Picture belongs to SevaOwen - usual rules apply.

Well, I thought P&G had it bad with their acronyms.

But, perusing through some more corporate documentation today, it would appear that each marketeer has their own brand of 'newspeak'.

It's slowly but surely driving me insane - it certainly would be nice to be able to understand just how these all fit together, especially when looking at incredibly confusing charts. Alas, I think the two are liable to remain hand in hand for as long as a concerned marketing manager needs to keep his or her job.

That said, every discipline has their fair share of this sort of verbal diarrhoea - in the dim and distant past when I was still a student, the postmodernists (sorry to see you go, JB) to the feminists and even the liberal humanists had a bash at confusing the humble student. And were usually very effective; it's why I switched to doing 'traditional' lit after the first year.

The larger question remains; how can you hope to communicate effectively with a public who don't have the time or the patience to pay attention to a lot of (simpler) ads, when you swim in seas of unchecked language and nothingness?

It certainly explains the swing towards visual communications, and why conversations about whether a colour 'is' a certain brand will become more evident as time goes on.

Brilliant quote..

And one which several companies could do with taking on board:

"Laugh and the world laughs with you; talk, and you may be lynched."

Meant in jest here, but it's one which the vast majority of agencies and brands could do with taking on board.

We need more nonsensical communications; it's why I still think there is a future for big budget ads, or ads featuring the likes of Jack Dee or Peter Kay.

Also - Miles Kington is one of the reasons I read The Independent regularly. Such a brilliant writer.

Soapbox Proclaimations vs Demonstration Led Thought..

Usual policy applies - photo is from WallyG

Bit of a wordy title, but nonetheless...

In the 20th century, most brands adopted the former position.

You are the consumer, we are the speaker, we will dictate to you and (by in large) you will accept it. Barring overly contentious advertising, you generally didn't have too many repercussions. That was, of course, before the land of choice, which exploded (along with consumer culture in general) in the 80's.

Indeed, one of my favourite essays of the late 90's dwelt on this - the problem with choice in today's society (if the link doesn't load, it was called Retail Advertising: the third way' by Stephen Carter.

Moving on to the 21st century, and we now have a shiny new lot of technology (nice, isn't it?), which in turn leads to the latter method of advertising.

So, we have Fruitstock, we have Run London. But is the model any better?

Yes, I do appreciate that the two can sort of work together (although it is noticable that you got a hell of a lot less branded entertainment in the former century), but I think that any new model of comms should use aspects of both in order to get the message across effectively.

The beauty of new technology means that the latter can lead to the former - you can show THEN tell, whereas it always was the other way round. Bloggers can edit/write move scripts now, and (whilst I'm not a fan of TBWA's 'Write Your Own Creative Brief' method), advertisers can be cannier with how they display their thinking.

What is perhaps most telling is that bloggers are now being cited as major sources of news (see the Huffington Post) and blog posts are being published (well done, NDG). How long before blogging creates mass market communications?

*Note to any advertisers; I'm free for any 2 minute biopics, if required.

Youtube knows our Aunty.

Check this out.

Now that Aunty (the BBC, for those of you who have no idea what I'm going on about) has got into bed with the BBC and Google, does this mean that Youtube has been accepted by the wider world now?

The article speaks about the other (US) networks getting into bed with both of them. So eh... what do we expect in the next year?

Youtube to be broken up by other labels? The monopolies and mergers commission to clamp down? Internet laws to be toughened up?

Hardly.

Looks like (until one of those two winds up a higher power) it will continue on, ad verbatum. I'll be interested to see what happens.

I am a rock. I am an island.

Taking another leaf from Richard's book, I fancied putting some more thinking up on the blog, just to provoke a bit more discussion on the blog (and not just posting spam emails with amusing surnames).

There is a school of thought which says that no brand was ever cut off, isolationist and able to dictate exactly what people thought.

However, I think that's bollocks; certainly, there was a time when people were more than willing to trust the advertising agency and the advertisers themselves (NB: This trust probably only lasted from the 1920s to probably about 1950).

However, now advertising is looked upon with skeptism, no brand can be seen to be completely from the top down, broadcasting a message onto the masses.

That's just a wrong headed approach, and I think people realise this.

There's also a debate which suggests that more brands (and agencies, for that matter) NEED to adopt the island approach and not get too wound up by what consumers can do to your brand.

Just have a point of view, and don't be bloody stupid - harping on about HSBC at this point, but WHY does it have to have a discussion about everything? That doesn't explain to me why I should use the bank (even if it is supposed to be a repositioning). If being an island means you stick with what you know, more's the better.

Thoughts, readers?

If Sacrum & Colman united...

PLUS

EQUALS:

A very funny chain email I've received, as I'm sure you all have. Just note the surname and the writing style, and there you have it (though I wasn't aware Paul had any African brothers) :

FROM MR MILIK COLMAN BILL & EXCHANGE MANAGER/ AUDITING.AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK(ADB)BURKINA-FASO WEST AFRICA.

My Dear,

I am the bill and exchange manager at FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT,In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of U.S $10.5million US dollars, TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS in an account that belonged to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a plane crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or a business associate to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidlines and laws, but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin or a business associate to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

Since the bank law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after Six years the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund.The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin.

I agree that 40% of this money will be for you as a foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10% will be set aside for expenses incured during the usiness and 50% would be for me and my Family.

There after I and my Family will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated and for some possible investment under your kind control.Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged,you must apply first to the bank as a business associate or next of kin of the deceased person.

1. Your Full Names and Address. 2. Direct Telephone and Fax numbers.

please i will like this transaction to be strictly between you and i Upon receipt of your reply, I will start by giving to you the application which you will fill and send to the bank.
I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this mail,

Trusting to hear from you immediately, Yours faithfully

Milik Colman.

Notes from a large island...

Usual rules apply - picture belongs to Chauss513

Whilst not quite what I thought when I came to America, certain parts of it have definitely left their mark on me; I certainly weigh more than I did before.

Anyway, some random thoughts:

1) From a purely aesthetic view point, I can understand why David Ogilvy hated billboards. These things are EVERYWHERE. From advertising to any form of religious or nationalistic message they can stick up. So I can understand why the consumer (at least on t'other side of the Atlantic) has a dim view of advertising.

2) The exchange rate meant I could buy lots of cds/beer/clothes/women/John Deere hats (one of those is a lie). This was a very good thing.

3) Alabama, and indeed, the whole south of America is far, far, far, far, far more cultured than I gave it credit for. It's very easy to rely on some form of stereotype, and I suppose that's true, especially when they like to propagate the dixie ideals to such a great degree (yes, I saw the odd Confederate flag). However, talk to the average American and they are incredibly articulate, thoughtful and considerate. It's sad when the liminal elements of society have such a hand in making it (and the same is true for the UK).

4) Nashville is a great city. Brilliant bars, great music (indie, not country - though more on that in a bit).

5) IHOP is the way forward in eateries. And open 24 hours to boot. I would weigh 5 times my weight if this ever came to the UK.

6) The overly English accent does well out there. Natch.

7) Beer, whilst it doesn't come in pints, does come in fluid ounces. You can order a 36 fl oz beer there. Admittedly, it's Coors Light, but damn.. that's a lot of beer.

8) American radio stations are brilliant. Especially classic rock ones, and those with loads of local adverts.

9) You can win a lot more drinking games if you are English/shameless. I'm saying no more.

10) I secretly like Country music...yes, even the ultra religious stuff....but especially the uptempo, almost bluegrass kind. Like folk music, but quicker.

11) Playing a game where you can compare how many fast food places there are to churches is fun. Though you are never quite sure which wins.

12) I rescind my previous allegation about American sweets; Paydays & Butterfingers are damn tasty. Hershey's still tastes like grit and sick mixed together.

13) I still find it strange that American teens can tote around a massive truck at 16, yet can't drink until 21, nor gamble at all. The aforementioned truck is far, far more dangerous than our little cars - it has a crap stopping distance.

14) America has no squash. Just (bleurgh) Gatorade, which tastes oddly like a combination of medicine and weak flavoured water.

15) I need to see more states, and with more local people.. the only times I've been out to the US has been with American people I know; it's by far and away the best way to do things.

Anyway, just a few notes on this post - check out my flickr for some pictures of the trip. Not enough there, I'm sorry to say.

Jetlagged..

Soon I will post more. But now I must sleep. Alabama was fun; sadly, I didn't make it to Baton Rouge or Nawlins, but ne'er mind.

Oh, and in my brief scan of the blogs - Sacrum is bloody brilliant. Hope the Naked experiment goes well. I want to be Sacrum's friend.

A Final Thought (before my holiday starts)

I'm not eschewing research (on the contrary, you can mine some great insights from it), but overly rely on it and you'll have no idea how to achieve that wonderful magic that communications is founded on.

Unless the comms answer is bloody obvious, of course. Which it rarely is/should ever be.

To extend the aphorism - you can know you won't get pissed on today, but will you need that umbrella tomorrow?

Any thoughts, readers?

*And on that note, I'll see you guys in two weeks time.

An American Tune..

Just before I go, I've decided to leave you with a couple of things. The first is a podcast, which can be downloaded here.

It's very Americanised, with good reason - if you are a regular reader, you'll know why.

Hope you all like it.

Exercise for the mind and body..

Well, seeing as I'm buggering off for a bit in a short while, this post is simply to implore you, gentle reader, to see what I could do to improve myself:

I'm probably going to be drinking a lot out there, so copious exercise will have to wait until I join a gym into the smoke/start MMAing like all the cool kids do/playing 5-a-side (one of those won't happen).

On the other fronts - I need to broaden my reading. Since finishing University, I've been reading easy things which I denied myself whilst on the course. Sure, interspersed with all of that has been some Robert Graves, some Huxley, some more Austen.. but for the most part it's been finishing off my collections of Pratchett and King.

I need to read more 'weird shit' as Richard puts it. Just finishing the Ghost Map at the moment, and have read some more Johnson before that.

As for music, I'm doing my bit for eclectic music listening - though I didn't know about Sufjan Stevens before Lebowski told me about him, so clearly my lack of buying a cd every week (unlike University) has been my undoing.

You can get an idea of the sort of things I currently want/my tastes by looking at my Amazon wishlist.

As for other things, I'm going to re-take up golf, after leaving it in the doldrums for a long time, as well as finally getting round to picking up a guitar. God help my flatmates.

So, does anyone have any recommendations?

Come on take me to the Mardi Gras..

In a period of unprecedented change, I'm buggering off to Alabama/Louisiana to see an old University friend for a little while... but not quite yet - will be going on the following weekend.

I'm looking forward to this holiday, as I've not had one for bloody ages, and I fancy seeing some more of America.

Will be bringing my digital camera with me, so much happy snapping will go on.

It also (happily) happens to fall during Mardi Gras. Think I might be going, if all works out, to soak up some of the atmosphere.

Should be good fun (and a million miles away from my last American adventure to California/San Fran).

I probably have the most English accent in the world, so should stick out like a sore thumb/be stoned to death, so that's also good.

I'm moving...OR...City living well it ain't for most, and that's a fact not an empty boast..

Well, I'm about to do it. About to fly the coop, settle in pastures new and leave the glorious countryside behind for the big smoke.

And I've not got the slightest idea of how this whole 'moving' business works. However, I do have two friends coming to London with me, coming to seek our fortunes like some band of nineteenth century ragamuffins.

These miscreants will be coming with me:

So yes, it should be good fun... at least before it turns into some bitter, Peep Show esque 'land baron' argument.

Anyone got any tips/advice for moving down? I know about Gumtree... NABs? Any other places? I'd like to try for Zone 2 at a reasonable standard of living (and that's saying something, because I'll be the tidy one).

Getting used to all the big buildings and fast pace will be the biggest challenge. Only used to Worcester, and its gentle Midlands ways.